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Oct 18 2013

Site Revamp

So, I've been away from my personal site for some time now ... things to do, places to go ... yadda yadda ...

Ok, truth be told, I've been trying to make ends meet by doing lots of different things, and trying out many new (and sometimes exciting) things ... more of that later if you are all good!

It's been a bit of a roller coaster of a journey over the last 18 months or so ... being dumped from 3000 miles away by somebody you spent the last 10 years of your life with is (if nothing else) a bit of an eye opener :)

I'm not one to dwell on self congratulations, but (if I'm honest ... and one of the things I've tried to be more of, is honest) ... I've become a much better person for the process ... won't bang on about 'positive thinking' ... but it worked for me (and I don't mean the 'pay some idiot called Rainbow or Brad a lot of money to be told you are worthy' type of positive thinking ... I mean the 'hey I'm alive ... think I'm not going to sweat the small stuff any more' type) ...



Apr 02 2013


If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.


I was going to write lots of information on the types of hosting I can offer you, then I thought ... there are 2 types of people who need hosting ... those who have no idea what FTP or WHM are and those who do ... so those who don't know will probably not care and those who do, don't need me to explain it to them! Does that make sense? 

Pretty much any hosting is £5 a month ...


So ... unless you want something really extraordinary (ecommerce ... massive data driven website ... ) then hosting is £5 a month (not £4.99 ... £5 ... same thing ... penny ... even penny chews are smaller now!!) ... if you want to haggle, I'll make it £4.99 ... but, of course I will recover my lost profits elsewhere :)

Just in case you want some nice technical details ...


  • Dual Intel Xeon X5660 Hexa Core CPUs
  • 96GB DDR3 RAM
  • 2 x SAS-based hard drives for the operating system, in RAID 1 for additional reliability
  • 4 x 500GB SATA-based hard drives for client data, in RAID 10 for added performance and reliability.
Mar 26 2013


Fed up of listening to somebody talk absolute gobbledygook?

I try (very hard ... believe me ... mnemonics are a nerds best friend) to use as straight forward and easy to understand English as possible (maybe not whilst I'm writing, but when I'm on the phone) ...

In my experience, people use their computers as tools, and that means they perform one or two tasks on them ... they have no interest in what the bar at the bottom of their home screen is called ... and for that matter what the *%$£ is a home screen?

I can organise support in a way that best suits you, some support can be dealt with quickly and easily over the phone, whereas other cases might involve me remotely connecting to your computer (this is sometimes merely because trying to describe which icon to click or which folder to open is actually easier if I can see what you are seeing) ...

Why not let me know what you need, and I'll do my best to facilitate :)


Need some help organising your information?

Data Cleansing


Data cleansing sometimes known as data cleaning is the process whereby you make sure all the records you have in your database (be it SQL, Access, Excel)is checked to make sure it contains valid (and therfore useful) records. After all, the data that you hold on your customers is vital to your business, good data means you can provide better customer service and identify marketing prospects easier and quicker.
I am always meeting people who have a constant battle to keep their records up to date, or even of any use.
In my own personal situation I have worked on a database which contained numerous errors in the addresses of customers alone (this was partly the fault of the people who originally wrote the bespoke EPOS system and didn't put in any 'moron traps', and partly staff being otherwise engaged in work to correctly input data) ....
Here are a few links to help you out if you want to try and clean up your own data :)
Top Ten Ways To Clean Your Data  Examples from Microsoft on tidying up your Excel spreadsheets
  • xml
  • mssql
  • mysql
  • access database
  • excel
  • csv
  • openoffice files

... loads more info and examples to go here ... why not pop back later ... or email me :)

Mar 25 2013

25th March 2013

A change is as good as a rest ... or so they say ... well, I've had a rest, s'pose it's time for a change :)

Blogging restarts as from today ... going to let you all know whats on the mind of i-r-paulus ... yes, I know you never asked ... this is irrelevant ... file a complaint!

Today I have been updating the old website to show off a few of my skills I have (until now) hidden under a bushel (which I believe, although I have not checked, is a small bush) ... to be honest, most of this stuff is on an old spare hard drive, but that's nowhere near as fun to say.

Before my devastatingly bad failure at emigrating, I did a lot of internet related work (no I didn't research that) ... when the plan to leave was formulated, it became necessary to clear up any loose ends, pass responsibility over for certain projects, so I never spent much time promoting these things before ...

So, apart from being devilishly handsome, witty and a consumate liar, what can I offer ?

Bumpf on services to go here ... when I get back from a nice walk and maybe a trip to the gym :)


Published in Blog
Mar 25 2013

Website Design

I can build you a website ... big ones, small ones, some the size of your head!

Simple one page website ?

Full ecommerce solution ?

More things than you can shake a stick at to go here eventaully, when I have finished updating elsewhere :)


Having trouble distinguishing your CMS from your HTML ? 

Got no idea what I'm talking about? 


Then join the masses that use the internet everyday, but don't actually know what goes on in the background!

Nothing to be ashamed of ... who the hell knows how their car works ... but we all (well most of us) drive without any problems!

Need somebody to update some photos? (new staff ... new product ... new address) ... done in a flash ...

Need some text changed? Easy !

I've been involved in the general administration of websites for over 12 years ... no job too small or too big :)


  • Updating information
  • Updating Photos
  • Checking Compliance
  • Checking links
  • Making sure things like meta tags are correct.
  • Optimising load speeds and checking compatability with new devices.
  • Backing up data and informing you if content needs to be reviewed due to time/technology etc.

I can provide administration services for all the major CMS and if you have access to your hard coded website hosting, then alteration to these sites can be arranged too!

Nothing is impossible ... somethings are really really difficult, time consuming and annoying .. but not impossible!



Do you have an ecommerce site, but not the time or expertise to update products? or do you only sell a few products and updating is very irregular? 

Both scenario's can be catered for - let me do the donkey work, while you make a fortune and retire to a tiny island in the Carribean :)


Things Change ... Plans ChangeBeen a while since I updated my website ... so today (it's cold and damp outside) it's time to make an effort and move forward :)

I've been having fun partaking in the thrills and excitement of temporary employment ... but now it's time to upgrade to fulltime employment ... and if that means working for myself ... then so be it ... whole new set of rules here ... no more doing favours for people ...



Web Design

Web Administration

Web Consultancy

Logo Design


Spreadsheet Design

Database Maintenance ...

Digital Photography ...

The list is endless (well, not in reality, but in an overally dramatic sense it could be) ... I'll be creating full explanations of everything that I can offer over the next few weeks, in the meantime ... think I might be able to help? drop me a line :D

I'll still be keeping this as my personal website, so you'll still be able to find pretty useless information about many and increasingly obscure (I've noticed) aspects of the interwebnet ...

... enjoy ...

... Paul


Aha - the first night of having my website back online since I stupidly (half asleep and suffering from a large dose of 'idiot') tried to update my website to Joomla! 3 without reading all the small print!

Guitar n stuffI've been up to loads since I last wrote anything worth reading, but ... once again, the time has go the best of me ... let me explain, 7 days a week I've been working for the last 2 months or so - it's possible, but it gets you a bit tired :D

Also, I've started going to the gym (yes really, I've lost almost 2 stone, and I'm getting muscles on my muscles!) - I've taken up Pilates and KaeKwonDo ... not very good at TaeKwonDo yet, but I am trying ...

I recently had some singing lessons too - one of those 'bucket list' things ... several people had made comment about me having a good voice for singing, and I thought I'd give it a go ... still not sure about the old voice, but the lessons were great fun (too expensive to continue) so I've got myself a guitar and a desire to write and sing my own songs ... watch this space ... admittedly you will probably be waiting sometime ... but, hey Rome ... Day etc etc

... anyway, what I'm saying in my usual round-a-bout way is ... I gotta go to bed!

Will make an effort over the next week to update my avid readers ... that would definitely be none now!


Published in Blog

Well, it's been a long while since I posted anything on my site, and lots, and lots has happened since I did.

Things have moved on 'a pace' and it's time I updated many things ...

... to add to the suspense, it's taken me all night to reinstall my site from a total balls I made of upgrading to Joomla! 3 ... so stay suspended ...

... will get you all up to speed tomorrow when I have a little more time :D

Love and Hugs to all


Published in Blog
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